Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(Movie) Review

static.squarespace

 

Now going into the theater, sitting down and realizing what I had agreed upon when the Editor In Chief ,Armando Orona, gave me the free ticket had me questioning myself. “Why am I here? I know this is going to be terrible. When can I go home?” I thought I was overreacting after a minute and then the movie started and I knew that I wasn’t over reacting. My thoughts were completely justified.

The plot of this movie is very simple and very easy to predict and understand. Basically April O’ Neil is discovering her past and what happened to her father. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles make it to the surface and in order to protect the city must stop Shredder and another character named Eric Sacks. Now this would be fine if it weren’t for a few elements of the movie that just kind of ruined the whole experience for me.

I’m not going to sit here and say Eric Sacks is a great villain because he’s not. He is in fact, the main villain and god does he do a terrible job. Now Shredder on the other hand… Actually no he’s terrible too. Shredder looks like what would of happened in the Wolverine movie if Silver Samurai would of adopted Wolverines claws. These two are suppose to come off as sinister and cool but they just sort of flop and come off as bullshit and very stupid. Eric Sacks just sort of loses his edge along the way and Shredder comes off as a bodyguard.

Shredder-in-Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-2014-Movie-Image-750x310

As a fan of the old live action movies and the 2003 cartoon series, I have to say they’ve messed up the beloved characters so bad. Leonardo who is suppose to be a leader is forgettable, and shows barely any leadership at all but you’ll want to forget him once you remember he is voiced by Johnny Knoxville. Donatello comes of as annoying, although he at least does his job as the tech guy fine. Raphael and Michelangelo play their parts perfectly and Raph actually has the most screen time of any of the turtles.

But the movie not only suffers from a lazy script but something I’ve come to know as “Learn From a Past Experience Syndrome”. Basically they remember something from the past that they use to do as kids or something and use it in a fight in order to fight an enemy. This has happened in countless movies such as Iron Man 2 or Spider-Man 3.  It’s a terrible plot device and should be stopped.

I don’t know if any of you knew this but this movie also goes by another name and that name is Product Placement The Movie. Through out the movie I knew that Pizza Hut was involved but It just got worse. You know the movie is bad when there is a situation that creates a hole in the script. April O’Neal called a dock worker on her Windows 8 phone, He picks up and asks “How did you get my number?!” well there were a couple things wrong with this. His camera was on so they were in a video call, It says Skype in the corner of the screen so it’s a Skype call, If it’s Skype then you should of been able to see who it was calling you and denied it once you know they aren’t on your friends list. Somehow April O’Neal got his number and dialed it through Skype in order to have a video call with this man.

Megan-Fox-in-Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-2014-Movie-Image-2-750x281Then everyone in the movie is holding a windows 8 phone, the Pizza Hut pizza is extreme CGI’d, Donnie looks like he’s wearing Beats by Dre headphones, there are Toshiba signs everywhere. It’s understandable to have some sponsors in your movies but this is almost getting to the level where it’s FoodFight bad.

Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-Donatello-Yell-700x396Now random shots of the city are great and all but visually this movie isn’t all that impressive. The CGI Pizza thing is just one of the problems I have with this movie. The others, again, are the countless shots of advertisements for things like Toshiba and Pizza Hut. Where as the turtle’s themselves don’t look all that impressive to me. The often shot at a some weird angles which just made ever shot terrible in a way.

Now the score by Brian Tyler is fine. It fits the movie very well but there’s just a couple things wrong with all of it, it’s just way too generic. The score doesn’t bring anything new to the table. It just sounds like standard action movie soundtrack without any sort of flair. This guy has worked on scores for movies like Iron Man 3,Dragon Ball Evolution and even Thor:The Dark World. But it all just comes off as bland and kind of reminds me of the Spider-Man 3 soundtrack which isn’t a good thing ever.

Written by: Zetus Lapetus Jafar